welcome 
to 
Poetic Psychology...

about me

—

Ephesians 1:4 NLT 
4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

Hi, I’m Misty…

I’m a 40-something mother of 2 grown children, one girl, Dakota, and one boy, Dylan. I am still praying that they will find their way to heaven someday. Currently, they are both as confused about their own sexuality and who they are as I used to be. When I was a kid I wanted to be a pediatrician when I grew up. Later in life, I managed to get a degree in psychology just to try and make more money. Instead, all I got was a bunch of student loan debt (but God always provides). Now, I am a faithful servant of YHWH (God) through His Son, Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus Christ), and I do whatever that might require at any given moment which currently includes being a home caregiver…

Just in case you were wondering this is all my own work–the website, the art, the photography…

I know people like to know these things…

If you ask me it’s really not that important because I can only do these things because God allowed me to live…

but, I digress….

Scroll down to the bottom if you just want to read my latest blog posts…

Keep reading here if you want to know the short version of my testimony and why I’m even doing this in the first place…

Here goes…

When God rescued me, I was so messed up that I am still very delighted and a little shocked that He let me make it this far…

I used to be a lot like most typical single moms…

I tried my best to be hardworking, reliable, caring…

I was just trying to raise my kids under a LOT of pressure…

I had a government job at a state prison, a retirement fund, health benefits, and even a pretty nice car…

But, also like most typical single moms, something was always missing…

I was pretty much a functional alcoholic as soon as I was legally old enough to drink…

Fast food, ice cream, birth control and depression helped me become morbidly obese by the time I was 23 years old; so, my mom and I, who had been living with me at the time, had gastric bypass on the same day…

I became severely mentally ill after that…

I started getting the wrong kind of attention…

I got married again for the wrong reasons…

I left him for the woman he wanted to have a threesome with…

I moved away from my family to be with her…

Things got violent so I left her…

It got really bad when I started looking for love in all the WRONG places…

Work, karaoke bars, the internet, AA meetings…

I got married a third time, but when the honeymoon wore off, I was seriously suicidal…

I was hospitalized after chasing a whole bottle of Flexeril with a whole bottle of vodka in 2013 the first time I heard God’s voice…

After that I went back to church…

I thought I really believed back then, I’m not so sure anymore if I was really saved…

They put me on the worship team, though…

I did all the things…

Bible studies, youth events, CMA gigs, music festivals…

So many “good works”…

I didn’t even know God…

I didn’t even know how to pray…

I got disillusioned, started drinking again and abusing my ADHD pills to hide it…

I was even stealing pills from my own kids…

Eventually I left my husband…

I started seeing a guy I met in AA…

My mom died from an oxycontin overdose…

I kept on just feeling more and more sorry for myself…

Then, when my daughter left for college, I lost my reason to hold it all together…

So, my life just got worse and worse and worse…

The boyfriends got worse…

I started using worse drugs…

I quit my job…

I cashed out my retirement fund…

I threw my entire life away trying to numb my pain…

Until I finally found MY bottom…

I tried to take my own life again…

This time I set my own house on fire…

I wasn’t sure exactly how it all happened or how I even got out of there…

I knew it was God that rescued me though…

I lost everything I had worked for my entire life…

My brother shot himself while I was in the hospital detoxing…

For me that was enough…

My addiction had taken its toll…

My daughter and I were already estranged…

My teenage son was living with his dad…

The rest of my immediate family didn’t want to help me…

I thought I was all alone…

I still wanted to die…

My Heavenly Father wasn’t finished with me yet, though…

He had literally told me that the first time I tried to take my own life…

How quickly I had forgotten His lovingkindness and mercy…

Still, He is faithful even when we are not…

I’ve been clean and sober ever since the night of that fire…

October 4, 2021…

The first time I heard the song Another in the Fire I was on the way to Teen Challenge, and I was convinced He was really REAL…

The path my life has taken since that night has been full of beauty, discovery, and revelation…

Now I get to share with others just how wonderful He truly is…

He gives us a reason to live…

He gives us everything we need…

He also gives us the things He knows we really want, too…

He knows what those are better than we do…

All I really know anymore is that He has loved and cared for me SO well through some unimaginable difficulties even before I knew it was Him…

He helped me even when I had completely turned my back on Him and even when I repeatedly gave up on religion and people…

He made a way when it seemed there was no way…

All I did was just try to trust Him even when I couldn’t understand anything that was happening around me and eventually I really did…

Through it all He was right there with me, holding me up with His victorious right hand…

He has given me WAY more than I ever lost…

But, most of all…

He has taken out my once so stone-cold heart and given me one that is quite soft and tender…

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”

Ezekiel 36:26 NLT

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