Poetic Psychology

I went through a lot of early childhood trauma…

My ACE score is a 10…

This is a test that social and welfare programs use to categorize Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)…

10 is the highest score…

I am just using this to demonstrate the degree of what I was faced with overcoming…

I realized today–as I am experiencing a lot of emotional healing–that my mother was one of the sweetest kinds of people…

She really always wanted my attention, and that used to annoy me…

Don’t have to worry about that anymore…

She died in 2015…

I’m realizing now that she really cared about me and lots of other people…

I used to think all she was doing was trying to get people to pay attention to her…

Now that I’m healing I don’t believe that anymore…

I truly believe now that she really cared about a lot of people that didn’t really care about her…

That’s what makes me say “my poor mother”…

She was a great deal younger than her sisters and had a different father than they did and I think her parents largely left her in the care of her much older sisters, which I’m sure were not so delighted to be burdened with her since they were still teenagers…

I can’t even imagine what it must have been like…

She had the sweetest voice and the cutest laugh…

She was always my biggest cheerleader…

I miss her so much…

Nothing bad that happened really matters much because of that…

I hope that anyone else reading this sees the value of not just forgiving people but of forgetting and putting behind us things that can’t be undone before the chance is gone to do so…

That is heavy on my heart today…

But praise God for helping me to find the peace I need to let go of these things…